Britt-Arnhild's House in the Woods

The Thread, My Life

@brittarnhild

I am reading through some of my old journals. Letting the words run through my fingers. A few knots. The changing of colours. Remembering. Smiling. Blushing. A tear appears, is it one of joy or one of sorrow? Wondering why I wrote some words, left out others.

Is it my life I find between the covers?

 

No, what I find are tales from my life. My life is not in a diary, not saved in words. It is out there somewhere. In what I have given, what I have shared, in the people I´ve met. In my children. In my husband´s face.

 

I close the journal I am reading.
I put it away, into the cabinet with my other diaries.
Then I open the journal on my desk. Pick up the pen.
And I write.

 

 

I am!

@brittarnhild

I am!
No more. No less.

 

Beauty´s Helpers

@brittarnhild

I am sitting here in The Blue Garden, watching the peonies which are ready to bloom any day now. Ants are running up and down the pregnant bulbs, busy with their business. When I first saw this I wondered what the ants were doing, if they were destroying the flowers. I tried to remove them, without luck. Later I learned that the ants are important. Somehow they are essential for the blooming. Don´t ask me how.

There have been a few ants in my life laterly. I have tried, without luck, to remove them. But now I wonder. May be they are essential for my blooming. May be they are my beauty´s helpers.

 

A Narrow Road or a Path of Beauty

@brittarnhild

Little did I know i January what this term, this winter and spring, would bring. It looked so easy in the beginning. Some health "stuff" meant that I needed a week´s sick leave, but after this week was finished I was back, working full time.......almost. Since than quite a lot has happened, and for the moment I am still on sick leave, 50% just now.

There have been quite a few ups and downs these months. Quite a few changes in my life. And there will be more in the future. I have always liked to plan my life, to know what is around the next corner. I still do. But everything can not be planned. Sometimes the road is so narrow, the surroundings so high, it is impossible to see ahead. 

There is a photo, you might have seen it on facebook or elsewhere, of two men sitting in a bus, on either side of the aisle. One is looking directly into the rock wall, the other has the most beautiful view. I have decided to sit next to the one with the view. Still I am able to see the rocks, but my face is turned the other way, and over the second man´s shoulder, I let my eyes rest on the beauty of the drive. I try not to see too much out the front window. I am not sure where the bus is heading. But it doesn´t matter much, as the beauty is here, now, along the path I am on.

 

The photo is from a tiny little mountain village in Italy, Sermoneta.

 

A Room with a View

@brittarnhild

I am sitting in my Blue Studio. Looking out the window which is just in front of my computer. The Blue Garden is out there, but the garden is not what my eyes see. Nor is it the rain, the blessed drops which are life for my plants. An old woman is walking up the road with a bright yellow sou´wester on her head. That´s not what I see either. Not actually.

No, I am sitting here seeing...........

that I wake up every morning to a new day, that I put on my feet and walk into the day. Into my day. Food on my table. A  job I love. Family. Friends. Books. A garden. Hiking trails. Raindrops. Wind. Sun. An everchanging sky. 

I put my hands flat on the window glass and let them rest there. The feeling of deep blessings is overwhelming. My eyes, my heart, my hands......I need my whole body, the palette of my senses to take it in.

I have a room with a view.
And I keep the curtains open.

 

::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The photos in today´s post are from the Peggy Guggenheim Collection in Venice. The glass sculptures are by Egidio Costantini (1912-2007), made after sketches by Picasso.

 

The break in between

@brittarnhild

I have had a period of a lot of thinking.....well, when I come to think of it I always have periods of a lot of thinking. Thinking about my life, about the whys and hows, about the meaning of it all, about the values which keep me going.

In my journal I note down bits and pieces of this life of mine. I ask questions, I try to find answers. I write down tales from the past, I try to imagine what the future will be.

All this is an important part of how I live my life.

 

But sometimes I wonder.

 In all this past and future reflections, do I forget to live here and now.

Life is about breathing.
You breath in, you breath out. You breath in, you breath out.

 

Have you ever noticed the little break between?
The break between breating in, breathing out.

Tonight I am going to have an in between the breathing  break.
I will listen to some music, may be read a poem.....

.....but most of all I will be. Just be.

 

And then, tomorrow, I will look behind the walls, continue to search for the treasures.

 

Let the thoughts wander

@brittarnhild

We live on the outskirts of Trondheim. Too far for me to walk to work, but anyway, this morning I decided to do exactly that. Walk the too long way. It took me one hour and forty minutes. And I enjoyed every second of it. Why haven´t I done this before?.......well, actually I have, several times, home from work, but that was many years ago. Now I know I will do it again. As long as our strange winter keeps on being strange, with no snow ice on the paths and pavements. 

As I walked I decided to empty my mind, to let my thoughts wander, sometimes together with me, mostly times alone. While doing this, nature started to speak to me, with me, in me. One places I walked along a tiny creek where a black and white dipper was standing. One place I passed a group of trees motly cut doen by beavers. Most places there were cars and trucks, and dust from the dry roads.

A combination of pure beauty and pollution.
Life as we all know it.

 

The two last photos are from my cell phone.

 

A Time to Every Purpose

@brittarnhild

To everything there is a season, there is a time to every purpose under heaven.
This is a lesson I have to learn again and again.

I have some problems with a shoulder and when I went to see my doctor yesterday, he gave me a one week sick leave. This is not at all how I had planned my life to be just now, my purposes don´t fit in. According to my own plans this is not the sick leave season.

 

I walked through the cathedral park again this morning, stopping up when I came to this crooked old tree (you have seen it before). A melody started to form in my head and soon I found myself humming..........tum, tum, tum

 

 

Not - a time to all my purposes,
but a time to every purpose.

 

I am still an apprentice.........on my way though life.

 

Thank you Pete Seeger for your music.
You will be missed.

 

The End and a New Beginning

@brittarnhild

The year 2013 is preparing to say goodbye. A new year is due in a few hours.
The House in the Woods will be full tonight. Together we will welcome 2014 with open arms.

I have a list: preparing the turkey, making the Waldorf salad, setting the tables, planning a few games, watering the bonsais, put new candles in the holders, check the white damask table cloths to see if they is still without stains.......

The guests will not be here until 7pm, so I am in no hurry.

 

In between doing the chores there will be time for reflections.
To say goodbye to old 2013.
To greet new 2014.

New Year´s Eve is one of my favorite days.
So is New Year´s Day.

 

Coming to thing about it, I have about 365 favorite days,
more or less. 

The people we meet

@brittarnhild

The day was filled with people. Some family. Some friends. Most unknown.
In church. At the memorial. At my friend´s birthday party.

I came home late and could not sleep. And it felt like a blessing. I was filled with impressions, with people, with sorrow, with joy, but most of all with thankfulness.

While I laid there, my eyes closed, waiting for sleep to come, face after face, voice after voice, words after words passed by. A deep sadness that I did not know my cousin better, death always creates this feeling in us. A deep thankfulness because of all the people I had met through the day. Cousins which I had not met in years, aunts, uncles, family, friends. Friends of friends.

At the birthday party I met a woman who knew my grandma Ragna Josefine, grandma used to be her needlework teache. She had such lovely tales to tell. People tell me I look very much alike Ragna Josefine. I can see that for myself, and sometimes I feel grandma inside me.

Finally I fell a sleep with a feeling of contentment.
The people we meet.
The blessings they give.

The circle of life.