text and images britt-arnhild
The winter cold I have is bothering me. It steals sleep during the night, energy during the day. Apparently most of the people I talk to these days have or have had the cold, and everybody tells me it stays for a long, long time. Pleasant future prospects :-(
I stayed home from work two days last week. I should may be have stayed home longer. But when you are on the line between fit and ill, staying at home when "all the interesting stuff" happens at work, is boring. It is not for me! So I cough my way through the nights, drag myself trough the days. Hoping for better days. Always hoping for better days.
When I am feeling under the weather, my days too easily feel dark, heavy. Joy and laughter play hide and seek and I don´t have the energy to seek them out.
Then I start worrying about everything. My weight. The kids. The future. The Arabic Spring. The people of Syria. Young girls being raped in Nigeria. A humanitarian catastrophy building up in South Sudan. The Wall in The Middle East.
The more I knit up of these dark threads, the more knotty and black they get.
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I was low spirited when I started my sunday morning walk......actually it was more lunchtime than morning. Lucky for me it was more lunchtime than morning. I forced myself to lift my eyes from my black knotted knitting to the light of the day.
The January light. Which up here is like nothing else, at least like nothing else further south. As I walked, my feet started a silent conversation with God. And as I walked on, God spoke to me, still without words. As my eyes rised more and more, my heart opened. I still bore with me the suffering of the world, a big WHY, and huge WHAT CAN I DO? But in the middle of this, God showed me beauty, and after a while he broke the silence to tell me - I Am The Light.
After a while I found a cafe and sat down with a cup of hot chocolate, filled with a huge top of whipped cream. Still with the world, its people and its suffering on my mind. But now also with a deep thankfulness. "I am The Light"
After a while I walked on.
God, show me the way and make me willing to walk it
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Afterword:
I am not sure what happened. I had planned a romantic, easy post about the beauty of winter light. The kind of post I know my readers love, the kind of post I know will give a lot of comments. I started with the title The January Light. Then quite other words came. More honest words? I don´t know. To tell about the beauty of January light is also honestly meant. From my heart. But those words did not come.
I am not sure what happened?
Or may be I am?
